Gotta Have Faith

Ladies and gentlemen of the Internet, I have a confession to make.  Well, no, not really, I don’t.  You see, I’ve made this confession many, many times.  In real life, online, even on this site, I’ve said this.  It’s not news, yet I will present it as such because it’s something that I have to tell people about every time I meet them, that comes up several times a week.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to come out…as a Christian.

I’ve told a number of people that I’m bisexual.  My parents know.  All of my bosses know.  My classmates, my friends, even a number of my students know.  Guess how many of them have given me a hard time about it?  Zero.  Literally, none.  I know this makes me a very lucky person, but honestly, I’ve never had a problem with telling people about my sexuality.  If there was a problem, it was that I was too awkward or uncomfortable with the idea of telling said person.  Once I bit the bullet and forced the words out, everything was fine.  People have always reacted positively or indifferently (which I’ll consider positive as it shows that it’s not a big deal).  Know what people give me a hard time about?  My religion.

It always starts off the same.  I’ll mention that I work at a church.  Someone’ll compliment me on the cross around my neck.  I’ll get invited to brunch on Sunday morning.  I’ll reveal that-gasp!-I’m a card carrying Christian.  I’ll get one of three reactions: 1) The person shrugs and says something along the lines of “cool”, 2) The person engages me in some kind of religious discussion which turns out to be pretty interesting, or 3) The person has a billion questions for me, all designed to somehow trip me up.  “So, you’re a Christian?  Isn’t religion closed-minded and oppressive?”  “Religion is the cause of most of the world’s problems, including war.”  “Oh, so you LIKE belonging to a group of people who tell you you’re a second-class citizen, eh?”  Then there’s my favorite: “But…I thought you were a liberal?”  If you were to run your hand across my forehead, I’m certain you’d feel a dent from the spot I continuously smack into a wall.  Too many people fall into reaction category 3.

Where do I even begin?  How the hell am I supposed to answer those?  Why would you even begin a conversation like that?  People seem to be perfectly fine with my sexual orientation, which, to some extent, does tell you some very personal things about me (like, say, who I would be interested in sleeping with), but the God I worship, that’s suddenly a cause for alarm?  Why is one a bigger deal than the other?  What do you think I’m going to do, exorcise you?  Or is it the idea that I’m both the part that confuses?  I can believe in God, even a God that doesn’t have a problem with who you’re attracted to.  It’s allowed.  I checked.

Okay, so I’ll try to answer those questions.  Is religion closed-minded and oppressive?  I mean, it CAN be, but I’ve never felt oppressed.  I actually find believing in God to be quite freeing.  I have something that I believe in, down in the depths of my soul, and that comforts me.  The powers of God, they comfort me.  They help me focus on the vast wonder that is the world around me, on the wonderful and diverse people around me.  It helps me remember how to treat others and how to respect them.  I don’t expect others to feel the same way; in fact, I like knowing people with different beliefs than mine.  Still, my belief gives me foundation, gives me an example to follow, gives me the ability to free myself of some worry.  It frees me.

Next up is the war question.  Yes, religion has been at the heart of many wars and many unspeakable acts of violence.  Well, I’ll put it this way: it has been the excuse for these things.  Most religions, Christianity included, preach respect, love, and non-violence.  It is when we add our own interpretations and agendas to the messages that things get all screwy.  Some say that the Bible contradicts itself and that there are plenty of examples of violence in it.  That’s true, but what’s important to remember is that, when asked what the most important commandments were, Jesus (who’s kinda a big deal in my religion) said “love God” and “love your neighbor.”  Notice neither of those involves war or violence.  The most important thing we can do is love.  Also, war has been fought for many reasons-power, greed, anger, fear.  It’s WAY too vast and complicated of a concept to blame on a soul entity or idea.

Now, here’s my favorite question.  Do I like being part of something that thinks I’m a second-class citizen?  Nope, I don’t, which is why I’m not.  I haven’t read the entire Bible, but I have read the clobber passages that are supposed to condemn homosexuality.  There are so many translation and interpretation issues involved with those that I don’t even consider them oppressive.  What I go back to is that whole love thing.  Also, there’s a passage that I can’t remember at the moment (I’ll post it when I do) that basically says “how dare you insult a creature of the Lord?”.  In my faith, we are all made by God, so we are all creatures of the Lord, which means that everyone, even the queermos, are loved by God.  Have a problem with it?  That’s your thing.  If your church has a problem with me, I won’t join it.  If you as a person seek to deny me, I will merely make myself louder, as will my friends.  My church supports me.  My God supports me.

Yes, I am a liberal.  I am a bisexual.  I am a woman.  I am a lot of things.  I am also a Christian.  I am an interesting person who is able to be a lot of things at the same time.  I’m a gamer.  I’m a musician.  I’m a writer.  I believe in God.  I believe that someday I will meet someone and fall in love and get married.  I believe all will be forgiven.  I believe that the Pittsburgh Steelers are the best football team in NFL history.  All of these can exist on the same plane.  It’s a big plane, and I’m out on it.