In My Nightmares

I have gone on unofficial record (and I suppose official record now) as having exactly six things I’m afraid of.  Of those six, I only ever talk about five of them; the last one is too scary and personal to tell those who I’m not super close with, and even most of the people who fit that description don’t know.  Some of these fears are based on strong feelings of social anxiety (such as my fear of rejection), while some of them are just plain ol’ irrational phobia (such as my fear of spiders).  My biggest named fear, ironically, is something I’m good at and currently/will do a great deal of: public speaking.  I know what I’m afraid of, I (in most cases) know why I’m afraid of it, and I have either attempted to overcome said fears (like in speaking) or learned to accept them (like in rejection).  This list of six has not changed in over a decade; it seems as if no matter how ridiculous or insane the world gets, it doesn’t usually scare me to the point of shaking in my boots.  I’ve never, past the age of seven, feared the boogeyman under my bed, I’ve never panicked that natural disaster was going to kill us all, and I’ve never been afraid that my government leader would be so crazy and ridiculous that I’d have to leave the country.  Well, I say never until now.  For the first time in history, someone has proven so crazy, so irrational, and so filled with misguided hate that I am actually afraid of her and the power she wields.  Her name is Michele Bachmann.

For non-Americans or those not particularly savvy on politics, Michele  hopes to run for president.  She is currently the representative for Minnesota.  As a fellow woman and Christian, I should have at least a little respect for her.  As a human being with a brain and feelings, she makes me want to run faster than Marion Jones.  The more I learn about her, the more sick to my stomach I feel.  I am a person who believes in fighting the system from the inside; it’s easier to destroy the mainframe computer if they give you the access codes, after all.  I am not a person who sees the problems and craziness in America and thinks the solution is to become an ex-pat.  I actually strongly yet respectfully disagree with that notion.  If your heart calls you to move to another country, then yeah, sure, follow your heart if you can, but if you think your nation is in a terrible state, why not stick around and fix it?  Work to turn it into the kind of place you want to live in.  Be the change you want to see and all that (spoken by a man who had it way worse than we do now).  Having said all that, Michele (I’m calling her by her first name because fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself) makes me want to take all that back and hop the next flight to Bruges.  What gives?  Simply put, she makes me afraid that my quality of life will go so far down that I will not be able to live as a free American anymore (and neither would many of you).

Let’s start with her religion, why don’t we?  Now, if you’ve ever read this blog before, you know I’m a pretty religious person who wants to show the queer friendly side of it and stand up against those who make people feel oppressed, even with just their offhand comments.  Michele is also religious, but in the way that makes rainbow folks stereotype religious folks as hateful, misguided bigots because, well, she’s a hateful, misguided bigot.  Her own website (which I sadly have to add to the views count of to research this post) says that two of her top priorities are to A) strengthen the family and defend marriage and B)rebuild respect for America as the shining city upon a hill (note: there are more).  So, up there with increasing jobs and lowering debt is saving traditional marriage and American exceptionalism via Bible verse.  She is married to Marcus Bachmann, who runs a Christian health clinic with ex-gay therapy.  They both belong to the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod, which has a nifty Q&A section that tells you the proper way to deal with a lesbian wedding so the couple understands their sinful nature (my favorite part is when the question refers to a “lesbian partner” but the answer just says “friend”).  Now, you can believe whatever homophobic nonsense you want; I can’t really stop you.  When you start mixing your theology into your politics, however, then we have a problem.  Let’s face it; no one is “defending marriage” because politically it will someone ruin things (in fact, it might help businesses).  For better explanation, just read this.

You might be thinking “Now, Michele sounds bad, but no worse than other conservative republicans.  Why be scared?”  Well, let’s check out her politics next.  Now, this is a woman who has said crazy things, so for interest in time, let’s focus just on her anti-gay stuff.  Like that time she was so eager to sign an anti-gay marriage protection pledge that she missed the horribly racist slavery comments in it (btw, Newt Gingrich won’t even sign it).  There’s also that time that legalizing same-sex marriage would make kids want to try homosexuality (which is especially bothersome if, y’know, they’re already gay), which is troublesome since no society has ever not defined marriage as between a man and a woman (the wiki article itself disproves this).  She, and her husband, are so anti-gay that, if elected, she stands poised to undo much of the Obama Administration’s work (which has done more for GLBT people than, well, any other).  To put things in perspective, let’s say you know someone who hates you.  This person hates you so much that they can’t separate that hatred from anything else they do.  Not their worship, not their job, nothing.  Now that person wants to be in a position of power where they not only CAN act on that hatred, they WANT to act on that hatred.  They are flat-out announcing that they will act on that hatred.  That is LITERALLY what is happening.

I’m not afraid of politicians.  I come from the state that brought the world Rick Santorum.  I’m also not usually afraid of the future.  All of this Michele Bachmann fear is based in the future and I know it.  She needs to win her party’s support.  She needs to run a successful campaign.  She needs to become president.  None of this has happened yet.  What truly scares me is that she COULD.  It’s actually in the realm of possibility.  She has enough momentum building that she could take the party by storm (two words: Tea Party).  Every time she speaks she sounds like a zealot or a crazy person, but people seem to like that.  Based on conventional logic, she should not have power, yet she’s been re-elected.  I’ve been told not to worry, that politicians are not usually as extreme as they seem, but I can’t go by that.  If someone is threatening to take my rights away, if someone is viewing me as less than a second class citizen, then I get to be afraid. I would rather be prematurely afraid than underestimate someone and not take their threats seriously.  Just like my other fears, I can acknowledge this one and decide whether to make peace with it or prepare to overcome it.  Guess which one I’ll do?

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